In this article, “BONDING” is used to describe the
process from when a person first becomes aware that a local church exists until
he becomes a member. It would not include shepherding, discipling, and
perfecting after one becomes a member. A more inclusive word “assimilation” is
commonly used by some denominations which think that its use is relatively new.
Actually, F. J. Lee used the term at the 15th Assembly in 1920. He said, “I
will read the Syriac for it expresses it a little fuller. ‘For ye, my brethren,
became assimilated to the churches of God in Judaea . . . ’ (1 Thess. 2:14).
‘Assimilate’ is taken from ‘ad’ and ‘similare,’ to convert into a like
substance, as food assimilates to our body.
. . . They had become a part of the church; they were in perfect
fellowship with the church, and the church with them.” The King James Version
reads, “For ye, brethren, became followers of the churches of God which in
Judaea . . .” (1 Thess. 2:14).
Too many persons go through our church doors that
quit attending, much less join the Church. What can we do to help them get from
point “A” (aware that the church exists) to point “B” (church membership)?
Remember the Parable of the Sower and how seed fell either “. . . by the way
side, . . . upon stony places, . . . among thorns . . .” or “. . . into good
ground . . .” (Matt. 13:4-8). But this does not lessen our concern, for there
are souls at stake.
In Luke 15:2 the Pharisees and scribes murmured
against Jesus, saying, “This man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them.” In
response, Jesus spake a parable saying, “What man of you, having an hundred
sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the
wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?” (Luke 15:4).
They were faulting Jesus for “BONDING”.
When Jesus told Simon Peter to cast his net on the
right side of the ship and Peter caught a multitude of fish, don’t you think
that a “BONDING” took place between Jesus and His fishing buddies?
Members of the Early Church “sold their possessions
and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need. And they,
continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house
to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart, Praising
God, and having favour with all the people. And the Lord added to the church
daily such as should be saved” (Acts
2:45-47). What a beautiful picture of “BONDING”!
Paul wrote, “For though I be free from all men, yet have
I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more. And unto the Jews I
became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as
under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law; To them that are
without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law
to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law. To the weak became I
as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I
might by all means save some. And this I do for the gospel's sake, that I might
be partaker thereof with you” (1 Cor. 9:19-23).
Just as Jesus went to the seashore and to the
sinner’s table the Early Church from house to house, and Paul from country to
country for the cause of “BONDING”, even so we have been commanded to go “into
all the world” (Mark 16:15) and “into the highways and hedges, and compel them
to come in, that” God’s “house may be filled” (Luke 11: 23). The Church of God
is to be insulated, but not isolated. If we will go and invite persons, the
fruit and the gifts of the Spirit Who dwells in us will compel them to come.
We should be like Andrew who invited his brother to
come to Jesus (John 1:40-42). Consider the research conducted by Church Growth,
Inc. of Monrovia, California. When more than 42,000 Christians were asked,
“What or who was responsible for your coming to Christ and your church?” over
75 % said that it was a friend or relative (Win Arn and Charles Arn. The
Master’s Plan of Making Disciples. 1982. Grand Rapids: Baker, 1998. pp. 45-46).
A beautiful building, nice sign, advertisements in
the Yellow Pages, news media, posters, newsletters, text messages, phone calls,
cold calling, etc. may result in attracting some to a church service, but
“BONDING” can only take place as a relationship with other people. God’s plan
is for men to invite men. No invitation is more effective than that from a
friend or relative.
By faith, we should expect visitors to come to our
church. We should prepare for “company” by creating a welcoming atmosphere.
Provide printed materials near the main entrance which inform about upcoming
events, various ministries of the church, etc. Greeters should be at every door
and ushers should assist with directions to classes, restrooms, nursery, etc.
Pastors should encourage church members to come early and get acquainted with
newcomers who may sit near them.
First impressions may determine whether or not
visitors will return. They will form certain opinions as they enter the
building. If they perceive us as a friendly, loving, caring church, it will
draw them back like a magnet. Many members can give testimony of such an
experience.
Be sure to get the newcomer’s name, telephone
number, and address on a visitor’s card or in a guest book. Follow-up is an
important part of the “BONDING” process.
According to Herb Miller, author of How to Build a
Magnetic Church (Nashville: Abingdon,
1987, pp. 75-760), when members, rather than the pastor, make brief
fifteen-minute visits to the homes of first-time visitors:
85% of guests return if visited in 36 hours
60% of guests return if visited in 72 hours
15% of guests return if visited in 7 days.
If the pastor makes the first visit instead
of a lay person the % is cut in half.
The visits last no longer than fifteen minutes.
Their purpose is to (1) get acquainted, (2) answer any questions that they have
about the church, (3) learn about their religious needs, (4) leave information
describing the church, and (5) invite them back.
In the denominational world, it is not unusual for
first-time visitors to receive a letter, an e-mail, and one to three phone
calls, all within one week after their first visit.
They may also receive freshly baked cookies or a
friendship cake at their home.
Herb Miller says that an average of only 12% of
first-time visitors eventually join the church. According to Marshall Shelley
(“From the Editors.” Leadership 11.4 (1990) p. 3), a denominational study
showed that over 75% of church attendees who became inactive did so because
they did not have a sense of belonging. According to Robert Orr (“The First
Year.” Net Results 12.3 (1991) p. 6), these newcomers did not find satisfaction
in one or more of the following questions: “Can I develop friends in this
church?” “Where do I fit in?” “Am I needed?”
A study of fifteen churches in the Portland, Oregon
area stated, “The most surprising discrepancy between the responses of church
leaders and new Christians related to why unchurched people were attracted to
the church. Preaching and a friendly, caring atmosphere were two of the four
categories mentioned most by church leaders. Yet, neither category received
more than two responses out of forty-five new Christian interviews. A personal
invitation was by far the most important factor for attracting new people to
the church; however, when asked, “Why did you stay?” the new Christians’ top
two responses were friendliness or caring and preaching. Church leaders need to
realize that though these were not factors in why they came, they were very
important reasons for why they stayed” (Copyright 2002 by David Durey. A
doctoral dissertation, Attracting and Assimilating the Unchurched in the 21st
Century, p. 139).
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